“She’s here” he thought and that feeling in his stomach immediately began.
She would never know the love he had for her.
When she walked into a room he could always feel her presence. He believed he could pick her face out of a crowd of thousands. His heart ached as she laughed, knowing he wasn’t the one causing her joy. He wanted her to be happy, but he died a little ever day knowing he wasn’t the one adding to it. Every breath she spent uttering the name of another, was a breath stolen from him.
This particular day he wanted to run his hands thru the silky thick tendrils of her hair, as she went on about her day. She was wearing the jacket he gave her, but he had to remind himself it didn’t mean anything. For the sake of his own sanity he had to remind himself that is what the purpose of clothing is… To be worn. He had to push past the reckless desire he had to cloth her in his warmth. He wanted to keep her safe and he had to accept that the jacket was as close as he would ever be to holding her in his arms.
“I have to speak to her…” he thought, as he stared across the floor, the bass pounding against his chest. He wondered if she felt that pounding too, and for a moment the rest of the world disappeared as she turned and their eyes met. What he didn’t know was that for those brief seconds her world was suspended too.
“Shit! He saw me look over there!” She hissed as she whipped her head back around to Trina who found this situation all too amusing.
“You’re fine!” Trina said with a laugh, as she downed the last of her drink. “You wore the jacket. He’s going to get the hint.”
“Tree, what if he doesn’t come over here.” She asked a ting too whiny for Trina to handle.
“Don’t you dare go over there…” Trina responded as she started to walk away, in need of another drink if she was going to put up with this crap all night.
“Wait! Where are you going!?” She asked suddenly paralyzed with fear that someone might start talking to her, and he would find someone more pretty or more interesting to talk to in the mean time.
“Seriously… go talk to someone, it’s not going to kill you to meet someone new. He’s not going to leave until he speaks to you. Trust me.” Trina said, as she walked backwards towards the bar. She was obviously done talking about it.
“Oh God… Oh God, oh God, oh God… Find a familiar face… Find a familiar face.” She thought, as she tried to look like she had her shit together. “Maybe I can steal another glance at him… Maybe I should get a drink with Trina to loosen up.” She turned towards the bar, becoming aware that she had just turned a full circle and that if he was watching she was going to look like a total idiot. Thankfully at some point she had subconsciously pulled her phone out, so she looked down and acted like she was texting someone, giving her time to collect her thoughts. “I can’t get a drink with Tree, because he doesn’t like it when I drink. … Okay okay okay. Here is what we are going to do: I’m going to grab a water. I’m going to find someone else I know. I’m going to dance. If he doesn’t talk to me tonight its fine. Everything is fine. He obviously doesn’t like me the way I like him anyway.”