I have attachment issues. I have abandonment issues. I have an acute ability to blow things out of proportion. I believe in others more than I believe in myself, because I have boundary issues. I struggle with being alone for extended periods of time. I struggle with being in large groups for extended periods of time.
I don’t understand the line between trusting too much, and not trusting enough.
I care too deeply. I cry when it is not socially appropriate. I analyze everything to a fault.
I just want to love. I want to love people, and be loved in return. I want to experience the love of God in ways I never expect. I want to walk with him all hours of the day.
I want to find a balance between loving God and loving his people, because right now it’s not working out for me.
The hardest part is not being able to ask for help, but I have grown. The hardest part is when others don’t know how to ask for help, when I see their desperate silent cries for help, but want to protect their image instead of asking for help. I understand that anxiety and depression inhibits these qualities, but for those of us on the same team need to feel needed. We need to know that we are strong enough to love others. We are strong enough to help lighten the load. Our own loads do not always keep us from helping someone in the same situation. Honestly it has helped me find my way out of hell, and it’s one of the situations God is using to heal me.