14 #YesAllWomen Tweets That Everyone Needs To See

Thought Catalog

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If you aren’t familiar with #YesAllWomen, you should definitely check out these posts by Claudia Guthrie, Ella Ceron, and Jamie Varon. Once you’re done with those you need to read the following tweets which hopefully resonate with everyone that’s sees them. It has to be more than a moment of awareness. It needs to become a catalyst of change. Hopefully this is just the beginning. TC Mark

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Lack of Focus

It’s surprising how much a trip to the lake teaches. As I listen to the water crashing on the shore due to increased traffic I can’t help but think about how it is Sunday and how up into last year, I would never have let my family spend a Sunday on the lake, or anywhere but church for that matter. Second I realize why I was afraid of boats until last weekend: deep water, or water that is not clear, reminds me of death.IMG_7454

Living with my cousins these last almost two weeks has retrieved many memories, my move to Texas three years ago, buried into my subconscious. Going into this summer my goal was to better connect with my family that is now local, but thus far it is proving instead that I am getting to know myself better. I haven’t been to church for service, or even listened to a sermon, since May 4th. For my Criswellian’s reading this, yes that’s two chapel services, and three normal Sunday services I haven’t attended. Years ago this would have caused me anxiety as it would mean I missed communion, an opportunity to show my face as someone willing to serve, and seeing my friends, but after my first two semesters in school I’m learning that its not about the place of worship but the heart of the individual. That’s something I understood from a factual perspective but didn’t necessarily “get”. The only problem I have now is that I know my heart isn’t where it needs to be, and I don’t know how to get it there.

Back in June and July of 2012 I experienced my first inkling of a calling to ministry, as I suffered the lost of two very dear friendships that were severed by immature decisions and God’s will. Between my sister going to camps and both my parents working I found myself alone one morning in a town where I had no friends and was slowly losing two I wanted so badly to keep. As I tried to keep myself busy with laundry and dishes, I climbed up on our counter to wait for the dishes to finish drying and drank tea. As I was about to finish my cup, I felt a shift in my circumstances and put my phone face down so that I could no longer see the incoming texts from both parties. I was done. I had hit my breaking point. I finished my cup of tea, and instead of getting down when the dishwasher stopped, I laid down on the counter-top the cold granite on my face, and I prayed. I prayed for forgiveness as I had placed these two relationships above God’s and mine. I prayed that I would not be alone anymore. I prayed that things would turn out better. I prayed for my friends. And God came to me and laid a reassuring hand on my heart. I didn’t feel as lonely, and I felt that God would lead me to a better place in the coming weeks. Though I did not find many more friendships to fill the emptiness I felt in the worldly realm, I felt peace in my relationship with God, and was blessed with what I came to know as the closest my relationship with God has been to this day. This closeness would continue until the middle of my junior year, when I began to sink into a complacent state with my walk. Instead of reaching out for help I suppressed this feeling because I had never been taught otherwise, and continued to sink further and further until I questioned Christianity completely.

Through the guidance that year of Troy and Michelle Doucette as well as Jared and Ashley Crewse taught me the importance of transparency, and that it is okay to have questions about Christ and Christianity. My senior year I began to feel God pulling on my heart to recenter myself, but didn’t find time in such a hectic world of school, work, and not so surprisingly church. I was to busy with church to refocus on God… I wanted to, but I hit a point where I didn’t know how anymore. Senior year ended and God’s pull grew stronger, while my interests pulled me farther. Finally the end of July beginning of August God grabbed my full attention, after suffering from a concussion and upper respiratory infection after attending three church camps back to back, I was forced to stop and listen to Him as I laid in bed unable to move for five days. Yes my connection to God’s plan was fully there at the time, but I was still not in that place where God and I talked everyday and I felt full reliance on Him despite all the reasons He had presented to me.

The middle of August I started at Criswell where my doubts about attending there where erased the night of Housing Orientation, where I found an unexpected support group that would end up carrying me to this day. Through this group I have found many others who are encouraging, loving, supporting, and just all around their when I need a reality check. It is easy for me to replace my need to speak with God, with a conversation found in one of these friends, but the thirst is not quenched. Only consultations with God help. Yet, why do I feel a weight that I need more? Why do I feel that God is distant? I want to draw near to Him, to have a better relationship than two years ago, but I find the Bible boring, and I have a horrible hard time shutting up when I try to listen to God. I have prayed for help focusing, but it hasn’t come. I have prayed for the whole in my heart where I found security from a guy off and on for four years, to be healed but I still feel the pain when I think of him. I have begin to remind myself that God will provide me with what I need, when I really need it, but it’s hard not to dwell on the negative, one of my many character flaws. I’m seeking a better relationship with Christ not because it is what is expected of me, not because I want to serve in ministry, but because I know He is the only way I will ever find fulfillment.

Jesus laid His lift on the line for me. He was alone in the garden, because the disciples fell asleep. He was mocked. He endured tests by the Pharisees, and He performed miracles to save those who did not believe in Him. Jesus led the way for me, and I owe it to the man that would endure all these things, to seek a better relationship with Him. I want a better relationship with Jesus, and I can only do that by showing Him who I am, and learning who He is. I owe it to Him to look at everyday and thank Him for the sun, for a cool breeze, a moment where the pain doesn’t hurt so much, a day I am able to get out of bed because the depression is gone, a friend when I need company, an opportunity to live with and grow closer to my family, and a job where I can teach children the truth about Christ. That’s what I will do.

Week One (sort of)

This time last week I was running off seven hours of sleep between two nights of sleep, while driving fourteen hours to move into my aunt and uncle’s house.

Lets just back a few days:
Friday I went out with Jennie, Stephen, Keith and JB to Olive Garden and hung out and all that good stuff.

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Saturday, Stephen Keith Jeffrey and I tried to go to the library, after I had been cleaning the apartment for inspection, but it closed about half an hour before we got there.

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So after much persuading we went back to my apartment and studied for a few hours, but of course we had to take a break to eat, and that took three hours… I love my friends, and the conversations we have, but the time crunch school puts on conversation makes it so hard to fit all of life in. After we got done eating, we went back to my apartment, and I got about an hours worth of work done then I was totally done.

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The guys left after we all had a conversation about Jesus’ Human-ness/Divinity, always light conversation.

Sunday I woke up fully planning on going to church, but decided sometime between making pancakes and tripping over my over flowing backpack, not to go. After this decision was made, I finished my study guide for Old Testament, and then went to lunch with Keith. After lunch I went back to my apartment and took my Government Final, then was invited downstairs to continue studying with the guys. Two sweet-teas, and two monsters later and I was bouncing off the walls unable to focus on my paper. Thankfully about this time Jennie came over, and she was able to calm me a bit between laughs of hysteria and my inability to collect all my thoughts. When it came time for Jennie to leave she said goodbye, as we both thought I would not see her again before Tuesday night: my first official goodbye had come.

Monday I went to work like normal, bringing a few things to my car so I wouldn’t have to cram Tuesday night. I went to lunch with Lauren and Brenda at CFA and then we grabbed froyo, I went back to work and went to the Treymore. I had every intention of going to my apartment to finish my paper, but was intercepted and worked on it downstairs with the guys. Little did I know, Monday would bleed into Tuesday. The next few hours that ensued I will probably forget details as I get older, but I will not forget the melancholy feeling that consumed me from 5:15PM until I sat in my apartment alone with an almost completed paper at 3:30AM. Jennie and Emily were able to hangout while we all wrote our papers and took breaks to laugh, yell, and argue. Another study group even came over for a quick break, which was nice as we all got to have some laughs and all that good stuff. Brenda called be and said it was time for her to leave and so we said our goodbyes and we didn’t cry. The most sobering thing I have ever encountered was knowing that while I was in a room filled with people I loved and was loved by, all I wanted to do was curl up in my bed and sleep for days. I wanted to avoid the goodbyes that could possible destroy relationships, that would separate my friends and I for the next three months, and that I was being completely selfish. God provided me with an opportunity to serve Him in a new way, out of my comfort zone, that would full forcedly confront my depression and test me in my personal relationship with Him. I was so against saying goodbye to my friends that when 12:00 came along and I was required to leave, I would not say a final goodbye. Between 12 and 3:30 I worked by butt off finishing my paper, all alone in an empty apartment with two sleeping roommates, finishing off a monster, and texting Jeffrey to keep me awake.

Tuesday was the big day, I got up a bit early as to finish some packing before work, then while at work I finished my paper, got lunch and then got off work, took a final and then took another final, packed more and turned in my paper. After getting off work I went to Treymore where I was stopped by Jeffery leading to me seeing the guys again. I should have said goodbye when I left, but I told them I would see them before I really left that night. To say the obvious I was unable to see Stephen Jeffery and JB before I left for Frisco. I should have said goodbye but my pride got in the way. I should have said goodbye but I didn’t want it to come so soon.

Tuesday afternoon Keith helped me load the rest of my stuff in my car, we said goodbye, then I said goodbye to my roommates.

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I left with out saying goodbye…to a lot of people…

 

I then proceeded to drive to Frisco, and after a little conversational detox and prayer with Michelle and Troy I went to my parents house. Dean and Haley came to send me off, and my parents presented me with a new car (which has been a blast driving around Marietta).

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Dean and Haley departed and I was left to pack the next three months into a suite case and a few bags.

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I went to sleep, woke up, and we left.

The drive was not bad until about hour seven when the rain started hitting really hard, and all I wanted was to sleep.

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(I didn’t get a pict of GA bc it was raining so badly)

I finally arrived at my Aunt and Uncles about 11:30 Wednesday night.

 

Thursday morning I was thankful for a few extra hours of sleep, before leaving for the intern retreat, that would throw my schedule off as I entered back into my own timezone. Two hours on a bus with my fellow interns consisted of question games so we could all get aquainted with each other and our bosses. We arrived at the lake house which is somewhere near Talladega Alabama, and we set up all our stuff. The girls got to sleep in this awesome bunk house decorated with tons of pictures and nicnaks. Image

We had some fun with the trinkets on the wall to say the least

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The trip was full of planning and rain, worship and boat rides, food and fellowship.

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Saturday we returned, and I was able to spend some time with my family… Oh and I broke my phone screen.
Sunday I taught Sunday School and took a tour of the facilities.
Monday was our first day and we had staff meeting and all that good stuff.
Tuesday morning my mom flew out before I woke up, and I did more fun VBS and Sunday School planning.
Today we finished our Sunday School lesson for June 1st and tomorrow we will finalize props.

I’m excited about connecting with God in new ways, and reconnected in old ways. Being removed from what is safe and easy and being put into a new unfamiliar environment is important. I’m already starting to anticipate the day I get homesick, but until then I am excited about what is to come. This summer will be good as I form new ideas and build my relationship with Christ away from all the theological jargon that goes along with a theology school. I will update as often as I can, but as the summer goes on, we all know how often that will be.

 

Freshman Year

If you ever wonder why I take so many pictures its bc I make videos like this when I procrastinate. I wanted to upload this video this morning while I was being sentimental, but it took two hours to compress on Youtube. Anyway, these last two semesters have been crazy fast and entertaining. I have learned so much about myself, and others, while studying at Criswell and I would never trade any of these memories.
Some of the many lessons I have learned are as follow:

You must study three hours for every one hour you are in class.
Living in an apartment means that when you leave dishes in the sink, you get roaches.
Loving and caring about and for others is a choice, and a risk willing to take.
It is okay, and necessary, to let go of friendships with those who drag you down.
Bible College has way more guys than a state school will.
It is important to have girl friends, especially when the guy/girl ratio is 8:1 (see above).
Just because everyone is getting married, doesn’t mean you need to be in a relationship, Paul didn’t get married so you don’t have to either.
Don’t burn yourself out.
Find out what you enjoy doing most, and do it when you think you are getting burnt out.
Always remember why you are doing what you are doing.
It’s not about getting a degree, it’s about learning the material and gaining life experience.
Your teachers care about you, and will help you if you fall behind.
Don’t do something you don’t want your professor to find out about.
Any small dirt that might be found on you will be found, if this is a youtube video of you dancing delete it… It will be found.
Don’t pull pranks, chances are the other person will retaliate, and they probable have the resources to steal your tires.
It’s okay to cry.
It’s not okay to cry all the time.
Finding others that will keep you accountable is a must.
Friends will come and go, but God will always be there to listen.
Don’t procrastinate, it will give you chest pains and you will have to go to the hospital.
You will have a hard time falling asleep some nights, and a hard time staying awake some days.
You don’t have to go to a states school and party to have fun.
Buy the warranty on your computer.
Don’t dye your hair purple.
If you do, get your hair fix professionally after.
Don’t dye over the purple hair.
Go see your teachers after you graduate.
Talk to your parents at least once a week.
Your younger siblings are still growing up, thus they still need you to be a role model and a key player in their life.
I am allergic to raw beef.
I love cooking for friends and family.
I work best under pressure.
Sunny days with a cool breeze should be taken advantage, when it comes to studying and writing papers.
It is okay to study with friends, but don’t distract each other, hold each other accountable.
Studying at other college’s libraries is useful if you don’t want to run into classmates.
Tattoos are expensive and require lots of upkeep
Lastly, take advantage the days of freedom that is college because it is the best time of your life.

 

Beauty

Finals are coming, and my move is drawing closer, so writing papers is on my mind. Of course I would decide to outlet my need to procrastinate by blogging because that’s the only thing that makes sense, right?

I can’t be the only person that when I see the word “beautiful” I think of that scene in some Adam Sandler movie where he goes, “B-e-a-you-ti-full”.

Anyway, I am beautiful.

I am strong… I carried three loads of crap from my apartment to my car yesterday while wearing heels, so that means I’m a feminist too, right?
…But I wear makeup, so I can’t be a feminist.
But Beyonce is a feminist and she wears makeup and has a kid and is married. Okay I’m a feminist…
But I can’t be a feminist, because I’m a Christian woman so I have to submit to man, and being a feminist means I can’t do both.
I really like Beyonce, but I can’t like her because I don’t want to be associated with Beyism.
But Imperfection really inspires me to be an individual.

I always say this, but I’m going to do what I think is right, and will glorify GOD not man. I might make some bad choices, but that’s how I “learn from my mistakes”.
I’m sorry if find the music I enjoy offensive.
I’m sorry if you think I’m being rebellious.
or if you think I’m not trusting in God enough to heal my depression, by seeking medication from a doctor.
or if you take my interest in practicing Centering Prayer as sacrilegious.

My walk with Christ only becomes the problem of others, when it impedes on their ability to grow.
I am beautiful because I am pursing my walk with Christ, and finding my identity in Him. I will no longer find my identity in titles or the normal Christianese standards.